From Under The Duvet..: April 2007

Sunday, April 29, 2007

The New and Improved Rules of Uno

If you walked into our common room it is unlikely you'd be able to discern that there are very important exams (oh how I must start proper revision - if only teachers would stop setting the most pointless homeworks and let us get on with it!) soon. As in, it's coming up to the "they are two weeks away for some people" point.

One thing that I and a group of us have fallen in love with is the game of Uno. But not the boring Uno (see the link above) where you follow the rules on the pack but some of our own rules have been added - thanks to Jane and Claire. So, in addition to the regular pick up rules, change direction cards, miss a go cards and what cards you can put on top of the current card there are also the following rules.

A yellow two means everyone slaps in (think "snap") and the person who is last to slap the pile of cards in play gets the entire pile. This makes games last a long time.

A red eight means that everyone passes their hand of cards in the direction of play. This rule seriously sucks if you've got three cards left and your neighbour just lost a yellow two rule or picked up 24 cards.

A green five (I think) flips the pack - ie you turn over all the cards in play and they become the pick up pile. This effectively reduces the amount of cards people have to pick up with the yellow two rule or the final additional rule (for now)...

A blue four is a hybrid yellow two rule. When a person sets down a blue four anyone playing has to get off their chairs, turn around, sit down and slap in. The last person to slap in gets all the cards in the pile.

Doesn't it sound fun? It's highly addictive and with all those rules the games can last for ages...! It has produced lots of laughs and will definitely be a fond memory of my last months at school. I'll miss you guys loads! Anyone want a game?

You could never tell we're 18 year old A-level students, could you?

Labels: exams, friends, fun, good times, laughter, revision, school

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Back Update

So I went to my doctor today to discuss my back. He's concerned about the fact an 18 year old has complained had a sore back for well over a year (with ups and downs and a general worsening!), especially as the physio hasn't had as drastic an affect as he had hoped.

There are three things he is going to now pursue. The first is the "simple matter" of a blood test. The "simple matter" is definitely on his part, rather than my choice of words! The idea of a needle and blood being taken away from me is not appealing! At all. This could rule out any thing such as an infection that could be causing the pain.

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Would anyone like to come to hold my hand? (Read: would anyone like to come and loose all hand functioning for the rest of the day?)
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The second thing is an x-ray that I'll need to sort out - and can pretty much ring up to be scheduled in the day before but it cannot happen for a while. This could rule out any thing that I might have been born with or any abnormalities.
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Depending on the results from the x-ray and the blood tests I may or may not be referred on to a consultant. Of course the waiting lists for this step are beyond long so the chances are I'll be out of the country and at uni (if that's the plan) by the time my appointment comes around!
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I'm actually pretty scared about all this. These things raise scary possibilities that I'm not sure if I can handle...
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Labels: health, scary

Sunday, April 22, 2007

And I missed it!

Did you guys know that the 20th March was national marijuana day (in the States)? And I missed it?! How did that happen? I am so annoyed to have missed it!

(Hey, the posts can't be serious all the time - I have revision I should be doing! And, in case you're worried, the above is a joke - well, the bit where I'm annoyed about missing it! What a stupid idea a national drug-taking day is! Then again, St Paddy's Day for many is a national drinking day...).

Anyway, I'm off to tidy my room (several bombs, plural, seem to have hit it) and then I'll be donning my GB uniform for the last time in a while for the annual district parade. Last time it was in this place it rained and rained and rained and today there are lots of clouds in the sky...

Labels: busy, Girls Brigade, random, silly billy me, tongue in cheek...

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Last Girls' Brigade Display

This is what I felt like tonight. A hippo. Tonight was my last ever Girls' Brigade display. Tonight I got my fifteen year attendance prize (Rose and Leane got it too!) - I started attending the year I was two (I turned 3 that November)! I also got my Brigader's brooch (the highest thing achievable in the GB really beyond officership, obviously) along with five other last year brigaders - what an achievement! I can't believe we did it! Well done! And I got my Gold Duke of Edinburgh award with three of the last years. (I also managed to escape home before the photo was taken for the local paper - I can't decide whether I'm glad not to have my photo in a county newspaper or sad because I'd have really loved to have been in the photo with the other 5! But it can't be helped and I didn't realise one was being taken. Oh well. *sigh*)

It was a really good night. Hippo-ness aside. I should probably explain that really! For the PE we were wearing footless tights, a black tank top and a gold skirt. Doesn't sound overly bad really, does it? But the gold skirt was incredibly short - so short I reckon if we wore that to church on a Sunday we'd be burned outside the church. I wore the exact same skirt EIGHT years ago - my name was inside it and it had been sitting in the GB cupboard all that time. Yeah, that's a short skirt! (With an elasticated waistband, in case you're wondering!) I'm rather worried about what some members of the audience saw! If anyone has photos of that I demand they be destroyed!

I am so pleased nothing really awful happened in the dance or the PE or the marching! And the High School Musical dance the juniors did (that I learnt last week so half of them could "follow" me tonight) was great. The skit went well and I loved the singing! All amazing!
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But GB is so much more than what we could show anyone on one night. Like I said above, I've been at GB for fifteen years and over that time there have been some amazing friendships! There have been lots of laughs and messing about. Lots of bibleclasses and badgework. Lots of hot chocolate consumed. Skipping. Being sent home when I was in the Explorers (younger than 8) to learn how to tie my laces because I couldn't. Countless sketches through the years. The agony of judging. The parades - the year it lashed in Ballygown! Those awful wool blazers and hats! The trips away - including the time with Mrs Johnston when we went to Portrush and Rose and I had the tidiest room and got a keyring for a prize. Being able to do Duke of Ed through it. All the displays - including the year I showed up in two left shoes! That's what happens when you have a million white gutties in your house (and I was 6 at the time - I couldn't tie my laces or anything so I'm not entirely to blame and we realised when we arrived up at the hall!). The singing - with firm favourites being Robin Mark's "as sure as gold is precious and the honey sweet", In Christ Alone and All in All. And there is so much more I've forgotten (and will probably add later!).

There's too much to but into words. Amy tonight got up to thank Claire, the new captain, and started to cry and she was not the only one! It is so sad to think that this part of my life is over (unless I become an officer!). I know I haven't always looked forward to going but it's been amazing. A big thank you to all the officers who have been involved over the years - I'm quite sure I was a holy terror in my early years (you might ask what has changed...) but I really appreciate it looking back.

It's amazing. (Referring to the six of us who are leaving this year:) We did it...! That's one life chapter over... Let's look forward to the next...

Labels: church, Girls Brigade, good times, lasts, pants, review, Rose, today

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

A Month Tomorrow...

May 18th. Tomorrow that date will be a month away. It is the date of my first exam.

I'd have a nervous breakdown right about now but I don't have the time...

And, yes, my sympathy goes out to those with exams which start before mine!

And my sympathy also goes out to those families of the victims of the high school shooting in Virginia. After Columbine etc there were calls for tougher gun control - has it happened? I would love to be able to remember the name of the law enforcement guy (he might have been a sheriff) on the radio this morning who said that they don't need fewer guns they need more as it helps "good violence" which "saves innocent lives". I'm sorry but good violence?! Surely that's an oxymoron. And how do bullets save lives? I'm really at a loss...

Labels: exams, news, revision, worry

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The North Coast with the Czechs...

Today I was up at the north coast - an area of coast voted the most scenic in the world - of Northern Ireland with the Czech and the Czech team. It was amazing - and helped me forget yesterday, which is good! Don't the photos look lovely? And they really don't do any of it any justice at all!!

Some impressions are that you can't take Czechs anywhere... Who on earth goes into the ocean in NI ever?! Let alone fully clothed, without spare clothes and a two hour car journey from home...

And then back home to have some amazing dinner a la Rachel and Rachel followed by the most amazing trifle in the world (Rose, you rock!) and a slice of my "legendary" cheesecake - it's amazing how guys will behave/flatter when a dessert is involved. While dinner was being cooked I got washing up underway in the cottage - where the Czechs were staying - they are so messy!!

I was told off for putting dishes away in the cupboard. I mean, imagine putting dishes where they are supposed to be... My goodness, how evil am I?! Apparently the worst thing about being married is the fact your wife tidies up after you leave your clothes at your behind... Shocking.

They were lucky not to experience my "look" - I'm sure Paul will be happy to describe it because he does it so well... I can't even fake the look - it has to be provoked to be perfect...

Anyway. Tomorrow I WILL work. Tomorrow I WILL do some marathon training. Tomorrow I will NOT be distracted. Yeah, I know, those statements made me laugh too...

PS - 200th post... woot!!

Labels: beach, Czech, love, marathon, NI, revision, school

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Irony...

It's always funny to see some of the psychologists' names but sometimes the irony is amazing. For example, research into the lengths of depressive episodes following mania were carried out by someone called Angst…

Labels: laughter, psychology

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Abducted...

I know, I know, two posts in one day. I spoil you guys!

So.. work is non-existent.. Today I went to the dawn service and then proper church (after a really strong coffee) with New Member's Classes. I futtered about for a while (read: I discovered, after returning to full on TV and DVDs after lent, that the freeview box AND the DVD player was broken. Grr... Tis fixed now so I've the lovely You've Got Mail playing).

I then made a cake (a two layer Victoria Sponge with jam in between the layers and icing on the top). And while waiting for it to cook in the oven and cool so I could ice it etc I cleaned out and organised a cupboard... I rock.. hehe.

You may have read or you may know that I am going to the Czech Republic in the summer to help out or teach English or help teach English or something at a camp. It's all very exciting. At the moment in my church we have six Czechs over who will be there in the summer (I think they are like youth leader type people but no doubt if I'm wrong I'll soon be corrected...).

And it was one of the girl's birthday today so the cake was for her. I took the cake up to the wee house, expecting just to leave it in the door (although it as the second trip up before I got them at home!). So.. I went up a little before seven... And escaped around half ten... Amid pleas of staying until midnight for a game of Star Wars monopoly.

It was a really good night. Even if my accent was mocked from the second I arrived to when I left... I'm hoping it was all in love... At one point two guys were rolling around laughing... Encouraging! The cake went down well - I think (again, correct me if I'm wrong!), well I thought it tasted good. I learnt lots of interesting things like crack (as in the drug) and alcohol are a lot cheaper in Czech. I learnt what some of the "naughty words" in English are mean in Czech - so I know what people mean and aren't swearing...!

I also "learnt" that "screw you" means "hello" in Czech... Yeah... I'm not buying that one! Incidentally, the person who told me that was the one who told a lady this morning he was from Prague in Central Asia.. and she believed him. And the one who was directing me into a post when I was getting out of the carpark/graveyard... etc etc... I think I now know, without a doubt, who not to trust!

But it was cool to hang out with the Czech guys and have pizza and toast and cake... I'm assured that if I give them cheesecake (unpoisoned cheesecake) that I'll not have as much wrath to endure in Czech so they're praying for cheesecake...

But guys, if you're reading, it was a great night of fun, frivolity and fellowship - and I hope you have fun in that monopoly game, which I'm sure went waaay on past midnight! And I'm glad I survived my abduction (but must write an essay tomorrow!)! And I'm off to cry into my pillow at all those accent comments...

Labels: Czech, Easter, fun

Easter Sunday

Good morning everyone. I hope everyone is up and awake - it's a lovely day! I realise it is currently only 8:35am but I've been up since 5am! We (meaning Paul and the Czechs) ventured down in the church minibus to the dawn service which was in a very... secluded area (read: backend of nowhere). But I got us there and back!

Paul did kill a pheasant on the way there - it was probably the one my granny has been feeding! Thankfully on the way home he missed a lamb that was out on the road - although it was on the other side of the road so you'd like to think he'd miss it anyway....

It was a nice, if very cold, service out in a garden overlooking the beautiful Strangford Lough. I don't think I'd really fancy getting up at 5am every Sunday! And there was breakfast served afterwards in a church hall - all very good!

So I hope you all have a good Easter Sunday wherever you are reading this from and here's a quotation from Thomas Merton to finish it off:

The challenge of the resurrection for the world – especially to Christians – is to travel beyond the domain of historical truth and to live its truth experimentally. To live each day as “fully alive” as we possibly can be. To trust in hope over despair, to commit ourselves to newness and openness, to joy and to discovery. To engage with faith that looks for signs of the risen Lord everywhere: in the pursuit of justice, mercy, compassion and wherever love and new life is found. To live the resurrection is to live in the knowledge that hope, joy, peace and healing will win through in the end.

Easter blessings to you & yours today.

Now to pour myself a cup of coffee and attempt an essay before church... And as for my plans for this afternoon... These might have something to do with it:

Labels: Czech, Easter

Friday, April 06, 2007

‘The Savior was now thrown to men quite different from the eleven. The face that Moses had begged to see--was forbidden to see--was slapped bloody (Exodus 33:19-20). The thorns that God had sent to curse the earth's rebellion now twisted around his own brow. His back, buttocks, and the rear of his legs felt the whip--soon they looked like the plowed Judean fields outside the city. . . .

"On your back with you!" One raises a mallet to sink in the spike. But the soldier's heart must continue pumping as he readies the prisoner's wrist. Someone must sustain the soldier's life minute by minute, for no man has this power on his own. Who supplies breath to his lungs? Who gives energy to his cells? Who holds his molecules together? Only by the Son do "all things hold together" (Colossians 1:17). The victim wills that the soldier live on--he grants the warrior's continued existence. The man swings. . . .

But these pains are a mere warm-up to his other and growing dread. He begins to feel a foreign sensation. Somewhere during this day an unearthly foul odor began to waft, not around his nose, but his heart. He feels dirty. Human wickedness starts to crawl upon his spotless being--the living excrement from our souls. The apple of his Father's eye turns brown with rot.

His Father! He must face his Father like this!

From heaven the Father now rouses himself like a lion disturbed, shakes his mane, and roars against the shriveling remnant of a man hanging on a cross. Never has the Son seen the Father look at him so, never felt even the least of his hot breath. But the roar shakes the unseen world and darkens the visible sky. The Son does not recognize these eyes.

"Son of Man! Why have you behaved so? You have cheated, lusted, stolen, gossiped--murdered, envied, hated, lied. You have cursed, robbed, overspent, overeaten--fornicated, disobeyed, embezzled, and blasphemed. Oh, the duties you have shirked, the children you have abandoned! Who has ever so ignored the poor, so played the coward, so belittled my name? Have you ever held your razor tongue? What a self-righteous, pitiful drunk--you, who molest young boys, peddle killer drugs, travel in cliques, and mock your parents. Who gave you the boldness to rig elections, foment revolutions, torture animals, and worship demons? Does the list never end! Splitting families, raping virgins, acting smugly, playing the pimp--buying politicians, practicing extortion, filming pornography, accepting bribes. You have burned down buildings, perfected terrorist tactics, founded false religions, traded in slaves--relishing each morsel and bragging about it all. I hate, I loathe these things in you! Disgust for everything about you consumes me! Can you not feel my wrath?"

The Father watches as his heart's treasure, the mirror-image of himself, sinks drowning into raw, liquid sin. Jehovah's stored rage against humankind from every century explodes in a single direction.

"Father! Father! Why have you forsaken me?!"

But heaven stops its ears. The Son stares up at the One who cannot, who will not, reach down or reply. Two eternal hearts tear--their intimate friendship shaken to the depths.

The Trinity had planned it. The Son endured it. The Spirit enabled him. The Father rejected the Son whom he loved. Jesus, the God-man from Nazareth, perished. The Father accepted his sacrifice for sin and was satisfied. The Rescue was accomplished. . . .

This is who asks us to trust him when He calls on us to suffer.’

(When God Weeps by Joni Eareckson Tada and Steven Estes.)

I scrolled through the archives today and found these…

For Me (No Title Yet)

Paid the ultimate price
Gave the greatest sacrifice
Sending your son
For me, the worthless one

To understand, I can’t even begin
How you could love me with this sin
I can’t begin to comprehend
Why to hell, your son you’d send

I don’t understand
Why you don’t demand
We all shower love
On your throne above

But you died for freedom
For access to your kingdom
You don’t force
But, you do remorse
When love is given only for a cost
Or the message lost

You died to set us free
You died, for me.

Hammer and Nails

That nail was me
That held you to the cross
Holding you in place
Causing you pain

That hammer was used, by me
With every strike
You cried out
I caused you that

You chose your death,
Your death
So I could live
I have to ask, why?

Why die for me?
Someone so unworthy
Why die for me?
Someone full of sin

Why did you chose
That hammer and those nails?
Your answer:Because I love you
And I will,
For all eternity

The Veil

Torn in two
Each side hanging limp
Once a mighty curtain
Merely threads now

The divide is gone
The barrier broken
No need for a special title
No individual date required

God with us all the time
The way it’s supposed to be
No silly laws or rules
Just God with us
And we with Him

No Title Yet

You wore the crown of thorns
So I could wear the crown of life

You were nailed to the cross
So I could be
free

(To be finished…)

Friday’s here… but Sunday is coming…

Friday is full of suffering, sin and betrayal. There was no hope on Friday – no one remembered Sunday was coming…

Friday’s here… but Sunday IS coming…

Labels: Easter

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

So today was the last day of term – thank goodness! Easter is looking Crazy and rightly deserves the capital C!

Today I went to a physio appointment and I’m being referred back to the doctor to talk about getting a scan of my back to really rule out anything other than a muscular problem… Wonderful… Well, it will be good to know and just be sure it’s not something else – because this has been going on for far too long and what my physio calls “episodes” should not be causing me to come home from school. I disagree with the lovely little term “episode” – an episode is a half hour of Friends or at most an hour of Desperate Housewives not three days of pain killers and a week of using heat patches (which are a Godsend!).

But I am worried. A scan obviously opens up that it could be other possibilities. Also, the idea of having to lie in a tube for a while doesn’t excite me. At all. I don’t like confined spaces – even wee alleyways (referring to like a tunnel through a building to another side, not just a route between two buildings) freak me out a little and I walk quickly through them if there’s no way round them. But it could be a while off – either a waiting list or maybe going private (and even then there would probably be a bit of a queue).

But… I have some great news. Remember the typing exams I did waaaay back in January (it doesn’t seem that long ago – it CAN’T be April already – I’m in denial)? Did I tell you wall the result of the first one? Well, I got the result of the second paper today. I got a distinction in both – the highest you can get in these exams!

Unfortunately I didn’t realise I had also been entered (I found out today) in two Stage Three Papers (the next stage after the ones I did in January) in the third week of May… I have actual exams in May! Rar!

Speaking of those exams I’m getting really worried. Like, ridiculously worried. But worried enough to complain about how much I’m worried but have yet to start working! Silly! Easter is packed and I really want to start revision before study leave this year (am I being optimistic?) or actually do some of the “extra reading” that should have been happening for an hour on a weekly basis all year!

I saw this list and laughed… You know school is “kicking your ass” when…

- You realize you haven't slept for a few days.

- You find yourself stressing out about life more than actually having one.

- You've found a comfortable niche in a library that feels more homey than your actual home.

- You have taken a class with your boyfriend/girlfriend to insure that you get to see them at least two hours a week.

- You have coffee running through your veins instead of blood. [living on lattes…]

- Sometime over the past few days you have thought to yourself "I hate my life" [yes! Yes! Yes!]

- You count down the days until the weekend... and then when it finally gets there... you think, even if just for a brief moment "wow I'm almost too exhausted to go out" (and then of course you do anyways, since you've learned to live on caffeine, alcohol, and almost no sleep)

- A night when you get to bed before 2am has become a fond memory of the past.

- You have fallen asleep during a lecture (or maybe even a discussion)

- As soon as you get finished with one mid-term or huge assignment, you get to take about 3 deep breaths before starting the next one.

- You procrastinate doing homework by sitting at your computer and refreshing one of the following:
~your email (hoping someone loves you enough to send you something) [seriously, does anyone?]
~your facebook homepage (hoping someone is leading a more exciting life than you)

- You could go pro in an event called the "write, print, and run to class"

- You never get a good amount of sleep... and on nights when you can, you lay in bed, unable to sleep, because your mind is racing with thoughts of how little sleep you get (vicious cycle)

- You really wouldn't be ALL THAT surprised to find a gray hair somewhere on your head

- If you tried to squeeze ONE more activity into your day... you might have to cut out the time you spend breathing... or blinking...

- Wearing something other than sweatpants or pajama bottoms feels odd

- The quality time that you spend with your close friends or significant other is time you spend at the library together studying

- At some point in your college experience you have honestly considered dropping out and thought that maybe working at McDonalds for the rest of your life wouldn't be THAT bad... [I dream about being able to open a little café and make cheesecake for the rest of my life… that would rock]

- When you tell people not to call you because you have to get stuff done, but spend more time talking about what you have to get done instead of actually getting it done.

Story of my life! I’ve taken tonight off and slept. I didn’t even go for a walk. Oops. Marathon is the 7th May…

With regards to the last post… I’m doing a whole lot better. A really big thank you goes out to all my friends who have been amazing this past wee while – enduring rants or random texts, sending emails or leaving comments, praying for me, or even just being a wonderful distraction and showing you care in little things. It has meant a great deal. I’m feeling a LOT more positive about it all now – well, not this particular situation but about life in general and I’m feeling happier. Woot.

Plus, lent ends soon so I can break out the Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice cream! Hooray!

Anyway, on we go… Must keep going to bed early if I’m going to be able to do any productive work tomorrow! Might write out a To-Do list of necessary assignmenting etc for over Easter… The joys!

Labels: coffee, Easter, education, exams, friends, good news, holidays, lent, rar, scary, thoughts, to-do list

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Dealing With Disappointments

I’ve a feeling this was one of the sub-headings for the plan I was given for writing my testimony – I’m not

sure and am not sure where I put the folder so we’ll leave that with a question mark…

This week I’ve had a big disappointment. I don’t need to go into details but it has really sucked. And for some reason I thought the situation was actually getting better but then a wonderful big crash and burn on Thursday afternoon. Wonderful.

But in this all I’m trying (big emphasis on the current-ness of that verb!) to trust in God’s plan for my life. I know this sucks but I’ve got to trust there’s some reason for it all or that because of this little disappointment it will lead to something perfect for me that God has ordained. Psalm 31 says:

But I am trusting you, O Lord,
saying, “You are my God!”
My future is in your hands.
[v 14 and 15a]

Right now, it does kind of feel like God is in Heaven laughing His socks off at me. And I am repeating that verse, and others like it, over and over again – maybe they’ll sink in and I’ll start really meaning them.

Ultimately, I know that (hopefully!) further down the line I’ll look back at this time and see what was happening but right now it’s been one huge reminder that God is what I need and all I need – it is only in Him that I can find fulfilment and perfect peace and rest. Again, this is really hard to accept right now but I’ve got to keep reminding myself of it and believing it – because it is true.

God is so much bigger than this disappointment and I know that my worth has nothing to do with any of this but through the fact that God loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. And this is something to be really reminded of this week as we enter Holy Week and remember Christ going to the cross for us.

And also, as we think about this week in terms of Easter Christ came and suffered and has been through it all – He’s MORE than capable of helping me and providing me with the strength to go through this time.

Last week a book from Amazon arrived that I’m using this week before Easter. It’s a Max Lucado book called And The Angels Were Silent. What I’ve read so far is good. It uses the Gospel of Matthew (or maybe Mark.. hmm) to look at Jesus’ final week.

The premise of the book is that you can learn a lot about a person from the way they die and that when you know you’re going to die soon you cut the crap and get down to the really important things – the last things you say are the things that mean the most to you etc. I’ll let you know what I think about it as I continue reading.

Anyway, I hope you all have a good week – thanks for bearing with the above post. It was more something that I wanted to arrange in my head that I can read and re-read as I continue to battle this.

And a big thank you to all who have said nice things or gave me a kick in the butt (which is definitely needed at these times too – although perhaps in limited amounts! I know it was with love.) or said they’ll pray for me – it means a lot.

God Bless.

Labels: disappointing, Easter, faith, God